quintessential quotes

this post is dedicated to great quotes, from movies, songs or humans. if you have some other precious ones, do share:

from Juno:
Geez, Banana! Shut your freakin' gob!

Su-Chin: I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
Juno: Oh well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.
Su-Chin: No thanks I'm off pills.
Juno: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!"
Su-Chin: I heard that was you.
Juno: Well, it was good seeing ya Su-Chin

Leah: Whoa! Check out Baby Big Head. Dude, that thing is freaky lookin'.
Juno: Excuse me. I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell

so i married an axe murderer:
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
Tony Giardino: So who's in this Pentavirate?
Stuart Mackenzie: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"
Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.

mike doughty - Happiness stinks up the room

bulletproof glass in the KFC to keep the man safe in his paper hat
keep the wrong hands off the biscuit fortune

beck - get crazy with the cheese whiz

dennis miller - A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

forgetting sarah marshall:
Aldous Snow: [holding a single sandal] I've lost a shoe... have you seen it anywhere? Excuse me, missus, I've lost a shoe... like this one. It's like this one's fellow... it's sort of the exact opposite in fact of that - not an evil version but just, you know, a shoe like this... but for the other foot. Otherwise I'd have two right...

Aldous Snow: I would rather have my testicles spread out like a wafer and then have them covered in a layer of honey and then have wasps come and sting me and then have them covered in another layer of vinegar and then have it worn as a swimming cap by a Nazi. I'd rather have that than spend another second with her.

Rachel Jansen: I can see your hoohah!